“Being on holiday meant that I could just focus on the moment”
Sharon's Story
Like many women, Sharon is part of the sandwich generation; with caring duties for children and an aging parent. Sharon’s mum, Joan, was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2018. Vascular dementia means that her mum has fluctuating capacity and she needs a lot of support. As a nurse, Sharon suspected that her mum had dementia earlier than that, but despite the diagnosis her mum is still in denial. Fortunately for Joan, Sharon lives a couple of minutes’ walk away so she is able to check in throughout the day, and has sole responsibility for managing her mum’s caring needs.
But Sharon is also a single mum to 11-year-old son, Alex. It’s a lot for one person to manage. Sharon has an incredibly positive mindset and takes each day as it comes. It’s been that way for many years. Even prior to her mum’s dementia diagnosis, Sharon was supporting her mum as she recovered from a fractured spine in 2013. She wouldn’t have it any other way but when Sharon learnt that she was going on a Family Holiday Charity break, she was over the moon.
Myself, my son Alex, and my partner had a three-day break at Stanwix Park near Carlisle. It was such a cute caravan park, and absolutely great to get away. We could see Scotland from the beach.
The only concern Sharon had before going away was to make sure that her mum’s care was covered. Joan’s dementia has reached a new stage where she is less aware and on occasion takes herself out on the bus but can then forget where she is. This is a great concern. Sharon did everything she could to set up official caring support but just before she went away, she learnt that due to staffing crisis there would be no available support that weekend. Luckily Sharon has a great network of friends and she was able to put a care plan in place for the weekend.
With her mum looked after, Sharon and Alex could finally relax for a few days. Everything worked out brilliantly, from the venue to the entertainment. They loved being on the beach late into the evening, though it wasn’t quite warm enough to swim!
Being on holiday meant that I could just focus on the moment, and be in the present, rather than worrying about what might happen. I was able to forget my troubles and we all just had a laugh.
I often have a wobble with so much going on. Since I’ve been back a few people have commented that I’m a bit different. I do feel calmer, a bit more in control of things, less overwhelmed. I think getting away has had an emotional impact, and helped to put things in perspective. I’ve definitely been less irritable.
The break wasn’t just a chance for Sharon to relax in the moment. It’s had a really positive impact since she’s returned.
Sharon’s caring duties for her mum also affect Alex. He usually goes with Sharon to check in on his nan many times a day. He needed a break from day-to-day life as much as Sharon. Alex is of an age where he doesn’t admit to his mum that he’s had a brilliant time, but Sharon knows he did. She’s overheard him telling his friends how much he enjoyed the break.
Sharon and Alex have since celebrated Joan’s 90th birthday. They are such a close family but a break has really helped Sharon re-energise and reset the dial. They now have lovely memories to look back on, and a bit of a changed perspective on the future.