Logan, 21, and his younger sister Erin haven’t always got on in the past. As Erin describes it, their relationship has “been quite on the rocks.”  

But they have had a really difficult time of it over the past couple of years and each member of the family has their own individual challenge to grapple with on top of a major bereavement.  

In March 2020, Erin and Logan lost their father Chris unexpectedly after a short illness at the start of the Covid pandemic. As their mum Mandy says, “since then we’ve all been feeling a bit lost.” 

As well as having a slipped disc in her spine, Mandy suffers from fibromyalgia, a chronic condition that causes pain all over the body. The family is supported by Dudley Young Carers as Logan has a prosthetic leg and autism so Erin, who will take her GCSEs next year, is often called upon to help out around the home. Both Mandy and Erin are considered as Logan’s carers. 

With that much on their plates, it’s not surprising that relationships between the three have sometimes been a little fractious.  

So a break away together through Family Holiday Charity was just what was needed to help mend not only the rifts between them but also some of the pain at the loss of Chris.  

Together, the three of them sat down to look at holidays online and plumped for a week away in Torquay. “We booked a three-bedroom caravan,” says Mandy, “so that we’d all have our own space if it got too much for Logan or for Erin and myself. That way then at least we’d have privacy for us all.” 

From her point of view, the holiday gave them some much-needed time together as well as enough room to do their own thing. “The kids got to spend some time bonding and I got to spend time with each of them individually. Plus I actually had some alone time, just me and the dog which was nice.” 

Erin echoes a similar sentiment: “Me and Logan spent a lot of time together which was beneficial to his and my relationship. Being able to spend quality time with the whole family when we’ve experienced such a loss, it’s really helped connect us all.” 

Logan is just as reflective about the experience. “Being in a new environment and not having to worry about anything, just letting it all melt away by sitting on a little outcrop able to see Torquay and the surrounding bays, it was lovely. We could just sit there and enjoy each other’s company.” 

Feeling like a normal family again after an intense period of upheaval came as a breath of fresh air. As Mandy puts it: “It’s helped us to realise that sometimes you just have to step back a little bit. I never realised that a holiday could have such a benefit to your mental health. To be given that opportunity to help us heal was phenomenal.” 

“It’s helped me become less stressed,” she adds, “which has meant that our home life has been a lot happier.” 

Logan came back determined to try and keep some of the positivity going between them all and to appreciate each other more. “I think it made us realise that it shouldn’t just be for a holiday, it should be for life.” 

As Erin gets ready to go into her final year at school as head girl, she also finds herself in a stronger place to tackle what comes next.

3 years after Mandy and her children returned from holiday, we caught up with Mandy to see how things were going. This is what she said...

After my husband passed away in 2020, we got involved with Dudley Young Carers because Erin became a little wayward - shall we say - and needed help and support.  

We found out recently that she is on the autistic spectrum which, when I think about it now, explains why she does certain things. When she gets excited for example, she flaps her hands and arms and bounces. When she eats, things have to be kept separate. She won’t have gravy on her food, the gravy has to be in a pot. I always used to just think she was a picky eater. My oldest, Logan, is also autistic and has a prosthetic leg. 

I’ve got fibromyalgia, a prolapsed disc in my back and I’ve also got a condition called NEAD which is non-epileptic attack disorder. So when I get stressed, it causes me to have an episode, which can render me incapable of moving, of talking. I can hear everything and I can see everything but my jaw will lock. I can’t walk; I can’t move. If I’m mid-stride, there’s a chance I could fall so I have to just sit and rest. 

Losing a partner is really difficult because a lot of the friendship groups that I was in, we all used to hang out together but now it’s almost like I’m a third wheel. Being a single parent, people do treat you differently. They categorise you as being out of work, make assumptions about you. 

Before we went on holiday, the three of us had been growing apart. Generally at home, Logan would be in his room and Erin in hers and I’d be downstairs, so the only time we actually socialised would be when there was food.  

When we were asked if we wanted to go away for a few days, we leapt at the chance. We travelled down to Torquay with the dog Obi – it was the first holiday he’d ever been on, the first time he went in the sea.  

We did a bit of sightseeing. We’d go and have a walk around Torquay, we went to the model village, we went up and down the seafront and found out how pebbly some of the beaches are! If they had things going on in the clubhouse in the evening, a couple of times I went with Erin. Then she’d stay in the caravan and I’d go with Logan, and then they’d go together so it was like they were spending some bonding time together as well.  

It changed the dynamics of the family for the better to be honest. The time away helped us learn to sit and communicate. It was really good to sit and talk.  

Now I’m like “come on, we need to do things together. We need to get out and about. We need to do stuff.” So that we don’t end up like we did previously. 

Since then, we’ve bought a tent. I decided that I don’t mind camping as long as I can stand up in the tent and I haven’t got to lie on an inflatable bed! The three of us and the dog went to a local campsite so it was only half an hour’s drive away and on a couple of occasions when we’d forgotten something, the kids would say to me “how about you go back to the house, have yourself a shower, have yourself a chill out. We’ll be fine, we’ll take the dog for a walk.” We all had a really good time. 

At the moment, Logan’s away at university where he gets a lot of help. He’s working with animals so he’s learning about environmental studies and animal behaviours. He’s just done some touch training with prairie dogs and is about to fly out to South Africa with some of the group from his university. 

Erin’s got a job working at the safari park nearby but is also volunteering with me at a young carers’ group because she wanted to give back what she herself received.