“I faced my fear and I did it!”
Abi's Story
“I faced my fear and I did it!” For single mum Abi, travelling anywhere that she hasn’t been before can trigger extreme anxiety. So the prospect of leaving her home in Hackney for a long weekend in East Sussex was always going to be a considerable challenge for her.
But, determined to make sure that her two children could have their first holiday away with her, she drew on all her inner reserves to navigate the train journey to Rye and then catch the bus on to Camber Sands.
"I have a phobia, especially when I’m not around where I live, so I don’t really travel."
The fear of visiting a new, unfamiliar place and the subsequent stress of having to make travel plans is not uncommon. The psychological impact can be crippling though.
Not knowing where I’m going, not knowing what to expect or having to ask people makes the anxiety worse.
Her phobia is one reason that the family have never had a holiday together before. But when offered the chance to stay in a caravan by the beach for three nights, Abi knew that she needed to conquer her fears for the sake of her daughter Loveina and son Diamond.
Thrilled at the thought of a mini break, the children relished the idea of spending time by the sea. And with its rolling sand dunes and miles of unspoilt beach, Camber Sands didn’t disappoint.
Despite being out of her comfort zone initially, Abi quickly embraced the change in surroundings.
Camber Sands is all about experience. It’s a different environment, it’s beautiful. I wish Hackney could be like this, I really do.
The family very quickly made new friends. Six-year-old Loveina teamed up with a girl her age from the next-door caravan and they also got to know another Nigerian family that was down from London for the weekend.
With boundless energy, the kids zipped about between the amusement park, the arcade and the evening entertainment. “I didn’t know before we went that there were all these activities like the disco and bingo,” Abi says. “So we went on the Saturday night, the kids were dancing, they loved it.”
She particularly enjoyed watching them darting in and out of the water fountain jets in their swimming costumes and goggles.
But it was the caravan itself that was the biggest hit. They’d never spent time in one before and for Abi it was a real home from home.
I wish I had one because it’s your own space. You can just step outside and there’s the green grass, it’s very peaceful. It’s like paradise.
They all slept like logs the first night. Even Loveina who’s usually up with the larks at 5-30am. According to Abi: “It felt better than home for some reason. I’d like to stay a bit longer and next time I am definitely going to try and save up and come. It feels good.”
There’s no doubting that the whole family benefited enormously from their time away together. Abi’s relationship with her children went from strength to strength and now they all have a bank of uplifting memories to call on.
The real breakthrough though came on the way back when Abi realised that she wasn’t afraid to face the journey home. “Getting there was a bit scary,” she explains. “But coming back was much easier. I was 100% less anxious.”
It makes me feel a bit braver about myself that I came all the way from Hackney and I got there safely and had fun. I feel now like I can do certain things. I feel much more confident.